The Best of 2010

I started blogging in 2010. My intent was twofold: I wanted to become more mindful, more consciously aware of every moment and the power in every moment. Secondly, I wanted to notice and experience the magic and miracles in every day life. Blogging has been a conduit for doing so!
As I reflect back on my year, 2010, I recognize that changing my thoughts and hanging out in gratitude has been the actual conduit to experiencing my life differently. It has been quite proactive, much less reactive.
The power is definitely in the MOMENT, in the NOW. As I recognize the power in NOW, I am empowered.
I have been reflecting back on the year and this concept of empowerment and have a short list of people I know, have known, or interacted with this year, that seem to exemplify empowerment.
-My nursing home patients, who deal with illness, limitations, loss on a daily, hourly basis. Some have recently become residents, leaving behind family, pets, daily activities, comforts of home,to deal with living in an institution. No wonder they struggle with anxiety and depression. Others have been living in the nursing home for many years, so many years that some of them have lost track of the years. Some of them no longer have family or friends around to visit them. Some of them have limited memories of their past, their identities, how they lived their lives, who are "are", so to speak. It is interesting and amazing to me to see those that cope with the situation best - those with a strong sense of faith or spirituality, those who are able to have gratitude for NOW. The most valuable lesson I have learned from them is the power of NOW and the empowerment of GRATITUDE.
Some of them have passed on this year and my work with them is done. However, our work together is not, as I continue to learn from them. Even in their finals days, most of them had work to do - things to talk about, people to forgive, things to let go of. They have taught me so much about the fragility of the physical, and the strength of the spirit.

-My friend, Tim, who passed away this year. From talking with his family recently, I have learned that he had been sick for at least a year. He never told me. For whatever reason, he never said "I am dying of cancer". That's ok, I respect that. What Tim taught me over the years about friendship is invaluable. Our paths diverged in life and while we both continued on in our careers, I also had two children, and much of my energy went to them. Sometimes, when he would come home to visit his family for holidays, we couldn't get together. But he ALWAYS tried - he always called and we at least talked. Sometimes I would think to myself, "Why does he keep in touch?", when I was super busy and couldn't get together. But, he had no children, he understood my energy was all over the place and that was ok. he ALWAYS kept trying. He ALWAYS valued our friendship. The last time we met, we shared dinner and it was wonderful. We had time, we could relax and "catch up" with each other. The most valuable thing I learned from Tim is that friendships MATTER. People will not always be around, nurture what you have. Thanks, Tim.

-all of my patients, who are symbols of courage to me. I truly believe that in a therapeutic relationship, everyone is changed. I am changed each session because I learn more about the resiliency of the human spirit. I do hear the most god-awful stories in my work. And I do hear them over and over, only the characters change but the darkness of humanity doesn't. When I hear another story, I sometimes think to myself "There is nothing new under the sun. I have heard this before" But, other times I think, "Wow, I can't believe it - that something so horrible can happen". But, all of my patients have come for healing and that is the goal I focus on. And they do heal and move on. They work very actively on change. They make major changes in thoughts and behaviors. They spill their guts out all over the place, and are released and renewed. They leave therapy empowered. In my dark moments, I sometimes remember one of the stories that they have shared with me and the healing they have experienced and I am changed. I am so encouraged, so much more hopeful, so proud of them and the work they did on their journey and I learn from them.

What I have learned about magic and miracles in my daily life is this
-Gratitude changes EVERYTHING. It's extremely powerful. It's a game changer.
-I make active choices every second of every day in terms of what I choose to think. I have the power in every moment to change my thoughts.
-Love is really all that matters. Every day I try to ask myself, "Do I want the problem or do I want the answer?". The answer is always love.
-Now is all there is. The past is gone, we don't know if we have the next breath, the next moment. Now is all we have to work with anyway.
I choose to try to fill each NOW, each moment with gratitude and love. Therein is the miracle. To the degree to which I change my thoughts, my world changes exponentially.

Here's to 2011!!!!!!

Going Home

"I will be still in an instant and go home"

For me, this is a very powerful directive. It is about recognizing who I REALLY am and why I am here in this life. The text that this statement comes from talks about that KNOWING that we all have, that we are in this world but not "of this world", that we came from another place and in our very distant memory, we have a deep longing for that place. I remind myself daily that I am NOT a physical being having a spiritual experience, but rather a spiritual being having a physical experience. "going home" is that remembering of where I came from, my Source, with whom I am still quite connected, even though I don't always recognize it in my daily flurry of activities.

When I follow this directive, everything calms in an instant.

What is the result of this "going home"?. It translates into a dramatic change in how I live the minutes of each day, the days of each week. When I "go home" I don't worry so much about traffic, and bills, and chores. In the stillness is an expansion of my awareness of the freedom I have to make positive choices. In the stillness is an expansion of my awareness of LOVE. In the stillness, I bask in gratitude. It FEELS so freeing.

Someday, for real, we will "go home". We will all die and move on. All of our worrying about this and that and money and stress and responsibilities and oil spills and everything else we all worry about will just......fade......away.....
Sometimes people come to this realization as their lives are ending.
Others are able to grasp this reality and embrace it.

We don't have to wait until we are dying to be kind to someone, to let someone go ahead of us in traffic, to hear the birds sing, to feed the birds, to enjoy the sunshine as we go for a walk, to hug a friend, to practice forgiveness, to encourage someone who seems down, to stifle an impatient desire to hurry someone along, to sing a song. In an instant, we can choose a better response, we can be still and in an instant, go home.....

We don't have to wait until we go home, to "go home"

Again, the choice is in the remembering...

"I will be still and in an instant, go home"

Gratitude

Gratitude is something I am constantly "preaching" to my clients. I consider it a Life Skill. I can't even imagine a life without it!
So, in the practice of "practicing what I preach", I am noticing all of the daily small miracles I experience.

- Tuesday morning I awoke to a thunderstorm. I had planned to run that morning - darn. I rolled over and listened to all the wonderful sounds of the rain... so peaceful, rhythmic and calming....I realized my legs were pretty tight from all the running I had been doing. I thanked God that "there is a time to every purpose under heaven." There definately is a time to rest. I can be a slug today..I smiled and listened to the rain and caught an extra hour of peaceful sleep: NICE
-Tuesday afternoon I arrived at the office to find a newborn fawn near the front door, behind a bush. Apparently mother deer do that to newborns, leaving them in a "safe place" until they return. Those few moments of eye contact were amazing. The fawn was fearless, wide eyed and totally beautiful: PRICELESS
-Tuesday afternoon, in search of the fawn who had run into the woods after a dog appeared in our parking lot, I ventured out. Never realized how thick the patch of woods behind the office was. Geez, I'm usually in and out the back door so quickly. A wonderful midday break, walking in the coolness of the woods and the extra bonus of ripe raspberries I discovered on my jaunt. Now I have a new sanctuary in the midst of hectic days. (Never did spot the fawn):NEAT
-Texting.....I love it! I get these random texts from my daughter (the med student) who is in Tennessee on a 5 week internship. The most recent was "I almost had a baby pee on me today!" Gotta smile: TOO FUNNY
-Yesterday I remembered an interaction with a butterfly on Saturday 6/12 when my friend, Tim, passed. (See previous posting). Someone was talking about butterflies and I instantly remembered coming home Saturday, prior to the onset of the unexplained deep sadness and seeing a butterfly on the ground in the driveway. It was so beautiful and it followed me. When I stopped, it stopped, sitting on a stone. When I walked several feet, it followed. I was talking to it, telling it how beautiful it was and how much I enjoyed it's faithful company. I had sense it was there with me for a purpose. As I went back into the house, I said a loving "goodbye" to the butterfly. The deep sadness descended shortly thereafter. I like to think it was Tim, saying a peaceful and loving "goodbye" "thanks for your friendship": SMILE
-Meeting a "regular" on the trail yesterday morning. I finished my run, he was biking. He is a "trail buddy", one of the group of us "regulars" who frequent the trail. Hadn't seen him in over a year. Had a great conversation. Making new friends after losing an old friend: HEALING