The Light of the World

I may never be a millionaire, funny I don't think I care
I may never see the mountain view, guess I don't need to
May never drive a fancy car or be a movie star
But I'll be, I'll be......the Light of the World
.....FFH

How different would we all be if we realized we are the Light of the World?
How differently would we think, and feel, and act, and problem solve and treat others, and approach each day?
The Light of the World isn't way up there somewhere in heaven, embodied by some ONE or some THING else. The light of the World is US. We are the same "stuff" as God, the same spirit and energy.
We dis-empower ourselves by believing that God is "up there" somewhere - some place else, separate from us.
Let's think different thoughts. If we believe we are the Light of the World, let's not place limits on who we can be.
Let's feel different emotions. If we believe we are the Light of the World, let's not feel so hopeless and helpless and angry and cynical.
Let's act differently. If we believe we are the Light of the World, let's practice patience, tolerance, compassion, understanding.
This morning I ran a 5K race and I was actually thinking about this as I ran. I felt lighter and stronger. I encouraged other runners as they zoomed past me and as I passed others. I slowed down for a moment to encourage a young boy of about 7 or 8 as I passed him on a hill. He smiled at me and I later saw that he won his age division. How cool is that?
A patient was telling me how she paused in the midst of her busy day, when she didn't really "have the time" to comfort a distraught colleague. The "moment" ended up being a hour but "miraculously", all of her work got completed in time, with time to spare. How amazing is that?
A friend was telling me how differently she felt about a situation as she consciously practiced forgiveness. The bonds to another person that she felt entangled to disappeared and she stopped thinking about and obsessing about and feeling connected to the situation. How miraculous is that?
How does the Light of the World think? Let's THINK about that every day.
How does the Light of the World feel? Let's ALIGN ourselves with that each day.
How does the Light of the World act? Let's STRIVE for that and ACT it out daily, in each moment.
In each moment of each day we have a choice.
We can recognize the light within us. We can BE the LIGHT OF THE WORLD.
We can change ourselves and simple moments and circumstances.
Or we can believe that we are separate from the light and stumble around in darkness, looking for someone or some thing to "enlighten" us.

...I may never be a millionaire, funny I don't think I care
may never see the mountain view, guess I don't need to
May never drive a fancy car or be a movie star
but I'll BE, I'll BE....THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.

Amen

So I was just thinking........

I was watching a commercial today and the ad stated that it is estimated we have 3,000 thoughts each day. I don't know how true this is (and I should probably check it out sometime) but anyway, I thought "We have 3,000 opportunities every day to CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS!!!" (if we choose to). THREE THOUSAND TIMES EACH DAY, we have opportunities to change. Wow. Makes me realize how empowered we are. Most of us don't think that way. We don't realize that each thought is negotiable. No thought we have is a given - we don't have to keep thinking it IF WE DON'T WANT TO. How about that for empowerment?
I was also watching Joel Osteen and he was talking about opportunities and that things we often see as annoyances are opportunities for us to grow, if we recognize the opportunity. He used the example of impatience. If someone is impatient, he or she may find themselves often behind slow drivers. They can moan and complain and hurl expletives at the slow driver, or see the situation as an opportunity to work on becoming more patient. It's a choice and it's empowering to recognize that choice.
Now as I am reflecting on the past 24 hours, I am wondering how many of those 3000 automatic thoughts I decided to change in some way to create more internal peace and extend out into the world? If we monitored every thought, that would be a full time job and we wouldn't be able to focus on our lives. But, if we recognized each time we feel uncomfortable, irritated, sad, anxious or afraid, then we could also recognize that we can look at the thought that goes with that uncomfortable feeling and change the thought.
Sometimes I am surprised with some of my automatic thoughts, especially when they are critical of others or myself. I'm usually pretty good at catching myself after the thought and changing it. For example, I may look at someone and think they are arrogant or rude or ugly but then I remind myself that I don't like that thought and can change it. I just say to myself "It's just a thought and I will change it" and then move on to a thought that is more compassionate of myself and others. I don't blame myself that much anymore for HAVING the thought, because it's just a thought and I can change it. I'm in charge of what I choose to think.
Imagine this......what if we all realized that we have 3000 opportunities every day to change our thoughts and then DID, IN FACT, CHANGE the thoughts that we didn't like or want to keep....How amazing that would be....
Here's how I think our days would be soooo different.
All of those "negatives", the people and situations that make us crazy would now be seen as opportunities to grow and change. The slow driver teaches us patience, the political extremism teaches us tolerance, the mean boss teaches us to love and value ourselves more, the freak thunderstorm when we are out on our run or walk teaches us trust, the financial stresses teach us gratitude for what we have. They really all contain GIFTS, opportunities to CHANGE.
3,000 times each day we have active choices and opportunities that most of us don't realize.
3,000 times a day we can embrace the thoughts we want to keep and discard the others.
3,000 times each day we can stop blaming
3,000 times every day we can choose peace
3,000 times a day we can love ourselves and others
3,000 times a day we can practice gratitude
3,000 times each and every day we can choose internal peace
simply by changing our thoughts, one thought at a time....3,000 times a day....

3,000 times each day we are empowered.

Love is the answer

8/4/09 - two years ago today 3 women were shot and killed in a horrific shooting in Bridgeville, PA. Two years later, those who survived the shootings continue on. Hopefully all continue to heal - the victims (living and deceased), their families and our community.
The life of my family was changed forever in some ways but we have brought much good out of the terror.....Love is the answer....

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer.
Shine on us all
set us free
Love is the answer

Who knows why
Someday we all must die
We're all homeless boys and girls
and we are never heard
It's such a lonely world
People turn their heads
and walk on by
Tell me is it worth just another try?

Ask the man inside for the answers
and when you feel afraid...
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when you've lost your way
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when you're all alone
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when you're far from home
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when you're down and out
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when your hope runs out
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and when you need a friend
LOVE ONE ANOTHER

WE'VE GOT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER

England Dan & John Ford Coley

WWJD - part 2

So, since my previous posting, I've been focused a lot more on wondering "What would Jesus THINK?", as I go through my days and experiences, recognizing that what Jesus would DO proceeds directly from what he would THINK.
It's been a case of "Be careful what you ask for because you just may get it". I have been uncharacteristically critical, judgmental, and impatient with people and it disturbs me. I have encountered some very annoying and thoughtless people and I keep asking myself "what the heck is going on?" and then I realized......I have a lot more work to do with my thoughts, with acceptance, and with thinking with the mind of Christ. I have focused intently on thinking more like Jesus and the universe has been giving me ample opportunities to practice this. Recently, a friend stated that if you want to learn compassion and forgiveness, do one of two things: drive your car, or go to Walmart. We chuckled but then I realized that this world is my classroom and the only way to learn how to be more like Christ is by living in the everyday world, encountering every day people, and everyday annoyances and frustrations. It's easy to think like Jesus when all is quiet and happy and serene in my world, but anybody can do that.
My conscious intention, to think more like Jesus, has created numerous opportunities for me to learn to love people better, as I draw to myself the work, the challenges, of dealing with unreasonable and rude people. It's like God has said "ok...here we go....how are you going to run with this...."
When I figured that out, that what you ask for, you receive, then the exercise became easier for me. It's like God has placed in my path the people and situations that will best optimize my learning. hmmmm....
Here's what I have learned about thinking like Jesus.
It's all about compassion....
simple,real simple.
Not so easy to do.
I can think like ME or I can think like Jesus.
Jesus always looks through the lens of compassion.
I can think like ME or I can think like Jesus....
Jesus sees way beyond our physical presence, our body we present to the world. He looks way beyond our behaviors. He sees the hurts and pain. He sees far beyond all of this. Because when he looks through the lens of compassion, he sees our essence, our pure selves.
I can think like ME about rude people, or I can think like Jesus,
I can think like ME about cruelty, or I can think like Jesus.
I can think like ME about all the negativity I see, or I can think like Jesus.
It really is that simple.......but not so easy.
It is a CHOICE.
Do I want to keep seeing through my own lens and criticize, blame and judge, or do I want to see through the lens of compassion? If I want to do what Jesus would do, I have to think like Jesus would think and I have to see EVERYTHING through a lens of compassion.

I can see with MY eyes or I can see with GOD'S eyes.
Which view do you think feels better and better serves the world?

WWJD - or "What Would Jesus Do?"

Several years ago I started seeing these bumper stickers all over - WWJD aka: What Would Jesus Do?
I believe the phrase originates in the Christian community and is an attempt to encourage people to live in a more Christ-like way. It's an interesting concept to apply to the world in 2011 and beyond. If Jesus was alive today and living in our world, what would he do? It was interesting and amusing and somewhat perplexing for me, however, to notice how the people who had these bumper stickers on their vehicles would drive......Sometimes they were the most discourteous and rude drivers!!!! Which leads me to surmise that they likely think about the question in a macro way. I recall a conversation I participated in over a year ago; people were admonishing themselves for not doing "enough" to serve God. They were thinking macro - mission trips, working in the soup kitchen, fostering children, running youth groups, etc and saying they just didn't have the time to serve God better. I encouraged them to think MICRO - what are the simple acts of love and kindness we can do every single day? I like to think about it on a more basic level - What would Jesus THINK? Because, of course, what he thought and what ran through his mind would determine what he would do, correct? So, if you want to think REALLY MICRO - look at your thoughts and do they likely match what Christ would think???
So, here's an amusing scenerio for us to think about. What if Jesus was living in 2011. Imagine he gets up in the morning to go to work (I wonder what kind of job he would work at - pastor? social worker? community activist?). Anyway, he walks out to his car and steps in the "business" the neighbor's dog kindly left for him. WHAT WOULD HE THINK ABOUT THAT? So, he cleans off his shoes which might put him a little behind on his commute. I wonder what sort of vehicle he would drive - probably some sort of hybrid? So, even though he is running late, he drives the speed limit, because he obeys the law and this infuriates EVERYONE behind him who have wonderful expletives and other unkind things to think and say. WHAT WOULD HE THINK ABOUT THAT?????? And when he gets to work, what would he think about the gossiping, the competitive environment, the overinflated egos??? Let's say he stops after work to pick up a few groceries, like everybody else seems to be doing after work, and he is standing in the EXPRESS line with his 4 items and someone way in front of him has 32 items - WHAT WOULD HE THINK ABOUT THAT???? He is rushing out the door to get home and sees someone approaching the entrance. He realizes he has to stand there for about 5 seconds to avoid the door slamming as she walks up to it. WHAT WOULD HE THINK ABOUT THAT CHOICE???? I think you get my drift.....
If we want to be more Christ-like it HAS TO start with our thoughts. We have to go so MICRO, we ask ourselves, "What would Jesus THINK?". At a quantum level, everything starts with our thoughts and heart based emotions. It starts with compassion and compassionate thoughts.
I like to think that Jesus would bless all the people on the road, at work, in the supermarket, in his neighborhood because he would have compassion for everyone in his heart. I like to think that he would not be so reactive to the inappropriate behaviors and model for all of us a better way. I like to think he would forgive others their trespasses and not hold grudges. I like to think when he encountered impatience and hostility, we would send love and prayers that people's days and lives would go better....That's how I THINK HE WOULD THINK. What about you?

"Come be my Light"

"Come be my light...."
These are the words that inspired Mother Teresa and became her purpose and calling. In September 1946, Mother Teresa, then 36 years old, heard the voice of God speak to her. The call was so powerful and unmistakable that it became her burning desire and life's purpose.

I wasn't raised Catholic and there is much I don't know or understand about the Catholic religion. But I am inspired by Mother Teresa. I know the world has been touched and further enlightened by her life, work, and gentle but powerful example. She is one of my "heroes" and I strive to love people in the way that she did. Despite her lifelong struggles with depression, and feeling disconnected from God, she continued to "be God's light" in the world.

She was God's light in simple, consistent ways. She fed the poor, educated children, cared for the homeless,sick and dying and she did it day after day after day without complaint and with great passion. There was nothing glamorous about working in the ghettos and about helping the most weak and ill and "undesirable" members of society. Not glamorous at all.....I wonder how she did it day after day after day while also feeling disconnected from God? For me, my connection with God creates my sense of hope, optimism, internal peace which allows me to continue to do my work, day after day, after day.

Her light is the same light that is in all of us. How viable is it for us to go out into the world each day when it's not glamorous,when we feel tired and empty inside, when we feel we aren't being "rewarded" in concrete ways? See, that's the characteristic about Mother Teresa that is so amazing to me. She experienced "the call" from God, felt the presence of God in powerful ways, then somehow lost that connection, but continued on and on and on, "being God's light" in the world, day after day, after day. She didn't make excuses. She wasn't a victim.

I wonder what would have happened if Mother Teresa would have taken a day off or a month off or an indefinite period of time because she "just wasn't feeling the love" at that particular time? I don't think there would have been a Nobel prize and all of the good and the light and the love she brought into the world through her work would have......never......happened.... and I wouldn't be writing a post on my blog about this remarkable woman who inspires me. Think about it..........

Think about it....If we want to be God's light in the world, we have to do it every day, in every action, in every thought...even when we are sick and tired and bored and depleted. No excuses...
wow. No waiting to proceed until we are inspired, no complaints about not receiving our just recognition or compensation, no blaming others for less than ideal situations. No excuses...no excuses...no excuses. What a tall order to fill. What a powerful example to emulate.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love. Everything is an opportunity to love" - Mother Teresa

Let it Be

This posting is not about the Beatles, although "Let it Be' is one of my favorite Beatles songs and there is so much wisdom in that song. (maybe that's for another posting).
"Letting it Be" is something I am currently thinking a lot about and trying to actively weave into my daily experiences. "Letting it be", to me, means two things: acknowledging/feeling AND letting go. "Letting it be" means sitting in the stillness of me and the emotion and moment and letting whatever happens, happen. It also means breathing into that "whatever happens" and holding it. Then, I honor the "whatever happens" and smile and breathe again and just...let..go......
Of course, I try to teach this skill to others and I am focused on it more intently recently, because I am learning more about it and seeing the process in a little different light. I'm reading the book "Allowing" by Holly Riley, in which she shares her wonderful story of a near death experience and her subsequent healing process. It's a wonderful book and I recommend it to anyone needing any kind of healing (which isn't that like 99% of us?)
So often, we try not to feel and we do this in all different kinds of ways. Sometimes we outright "stuff" our feelings because we believe they are too painful and we just can't (don't want) to feel them. Other times we more cleverly stuff them by saying we need to change our thoughts about our experiences. This enables us to fast forward through the "feeling" piece and move almost immediately to thinking differently. Ooops. we missed that critical piece in there, the "acknowledging the feeling" piece and honoring it for a moment.....
"Acknowledging the feeling" doesn't mean not feeling. It also doesn't mean staying steeped in the pain. Acknowledging our emotions isn't usually an all-or-nothing venture. Maybe another way to think about it is to see the acknowledgement as an embrace or "hug". We can embrace the moment, hug it and really hold it, then....let go.....
Here's what I have noticed in my clinical work and in my day-to-day going about in the world over the past several days:

-a woman, who has a history of unresolved childhood trauma, who is running in circles, steeped in the pain of a dysfunctional relationship with an addict, who gives her mixed messages and places her worth second to his addiction, and keeps betraying her and thereby replicates her history of trauma, abuse, and victimization. And, she avoids feeling any of the loss and deep sadness and anger. So, she hurts herself and drinks and engages in other dysfunctional behaviors. In sessions, she is able to sit with the feelings for brief moments, and I encourage her to breathe through it. And she comes out on the other side and feels so much better and empowered.
-Several people, who are dealing with the loss a a relationship with family members. They came for treatment after all their attempts to "fix" things failed and they had no choice but to move toward acceptance of the situation. Then the grieving starts, and all the feelings they have been fighting off emerge and FEEL overwhelming. It is like the river that erupts after the dam breaks. As they allow the feelings and move through them, they are able to embrace themselves and feel empowered.
-As I feel stress about the weather, and my commute to and from the office, and the situation in Bahrain, and the status of health care reform, I can take a deep breathe, feel the internal chaos and anxiety and frustration and smile and let it go....allow it it's voice, honor it's voice, then move on.
-I overheard a conversation the other day. Two women were talking about "letting go" of their children, who were high school seniors, contemplating going away to college next Fall. One woman said she was avoiding thinking about it (not allowing her feelings) and would "just deal with it" when it happened. The other woman said she had been dealing with it for the past year, by savoring every moment with her son - the "great" moments of achievements and awards, as well as the "mundane" moments of drives to school and practices and nightly dinners. The second woman has been able to sit with her feelings and allowing herself to honor the pain and loss and thereby using that process to embrace the present.
-An acquaintance was telling me about her migraines. She said when she feels it coming on, she recognizes it as a message from her "self". She becomes quiet and recognizes the fear of "oh no, not again", and allows that, then she usually feels something underneath the fear and that's usually the "cause" of the migraine. She has had success reducing the intensity of the migraine by staying with the root feeling or "cause' and responding to those emotions. As she allows the emotions, the headache often dissipates...She said she used to panic and immediately pop a pill. Now, she accepts that the migraine is a symptom of some "unresponded to" emotion. Acknowledging and allowing the emotion creates the symptom reduction.

Why do we have such an aversion to feeling? We want to feel good, but then avoid anything that we determine feels "bad". Many messages are in the painful feelings and the path to our healing goes through the pain. Resisting keeps it locked up inside of us.

Try this experiment and do a quick scan every day. Be the objective observer and NOTICE what you are feeling. Don't judge the emotion, just notice it, label it if you like. Then ALLOW yourself to just sit with it for a moment or two, hold it, feel it, then imagine it as a mist that fades away or a bird that flies off or a leaf gently moving downstream on a creek.

This is "letting it be". This is accepting and allowing and ultimately moving on. It's not running from or hiding from what hurts.

"When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy"...A Course in Miracles

The time is always right.....

"The time is always right to do what is right"....Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.

On this day we honor Dr. King. When he was born, a bright light came into the world. That bright light continues on despite his leaving, because he has inspired us all to do better, to love more, to see past differences, and to be more unified.

This is one of my favorite MLK quotes because it is so very simple and basic. There is no time like NOW and NOW is ALWAYS the right time to do what is right.

-Last week a patient was telling me about how, despite all her financial struggles, she and her son bought dinner for a homeless man they encountered in a restaurant. This man was counting out his last coins to be able to purchase a cup of soup and a sandwich - a very basic meal, something we all probably take for granted. As my patient and her son went to the register to pay their bill she asked the cashier to also pay the homeless man's bill, the light was shining....
-I have a friend who recently sat with her friend as she passed away. This was a process of months and the end came recently. My friend held her hand and her heart in her final hours. What greater privilege than to be able to support someone in such a way. As the months wore on and the minutes ticked down and the friendship continued, up until the very final breath, the light was shining.....
-How many individual and collective lights shine on in Tucson, after the recent shootings??? There are more stories of heroism and light than I can mention. I just heard on the news this morning that the organs of nine year old, Christina Taylor Green, were donated to a little girl in Boston. I know this is likely just a small comfort to her family but they said "It's what she would have wanted". The legacy the shooter left behind seems to be one of increased tolerance and unity and recognition that we can agree to disagree and it doesn't have to be an all out war. And the light is shining through ALL OF THIS.....
-There's a young man, a high school student, in my area who saw a need and responded. I read about this in the newspaper. He comes from an upper middle class neighborhood and had a part time job in a restaurant. He was upset one night when, as the restaurant was closing, he saw all of the good food that was being thrown in the dumpster. He talked to the restaurant owner about this and asked if he could take the food to a soup kitchen and the owner agreed. The young man then canvassed several other restaurants in his area and did the same. Today, a network operates to pick up the food each evening at the group of restaurants and take it to a homeless mission. One young man, with a good heart, who responded to his heart. and the light is shining....

The light that shone in Martin Luther King Jr is the same light that shines in all of us. We can all judge less, love better, reach out to others, look past differences....if we choose. The time is now, there is no other time. NOW is all there is.

The Best of 2010

I started blogging in 2010. My intent was twofold: I wanted to become more mindful, more consciously aware of every moment and the power in every moment. Secondly, I wanted to notice and experience the magic and miracles in every day life. Blogging has been a conduit for doing so!
As I reflect back on my year, 2010, I recognize that changing my thoughts and hanging out in gratitude has been the actual conduit to experiencing my life differently. It has been quite proactive, much less reactive.
The power is definitely in the MOMENT, in the NOW. As I recognize the power in NOW, I am empowered.
I have been reflecting back on the year and this concept of empowerment and have a short list of people I know, have known, or interacted with this year, that seem to exemplify empowerment.
-My nursing home patients, who deal with illness, limitations, loss on a daily, hourly basis. Some have recently become residents, leaving behind family, pets, daily activities, comforts of home,to deal with living in an institution. No wonder they struggle with anxiety and depression. Others have been living in the nursing home for many years, so many years that some of them have lost track of the years. Some of them no longer have family or friends around to visit them. Some of them have limited memories of their past, their identities, how they lived their lives, who are "are", so to speak. It is interesting and amazing to me to see those that cope with the situation best - those with a strong sense of faith or spirituality, those who are able to have gratitude for NOW. The most valuable lesson I have learned from them is the power of NOW and the empowerment of GRATITUDE.
Some of them have passed on this year and my work with them is done. However, our work together is not, as I continue to learn from them. Even in their finals days, most of them had work to do - things to talk about, people to forgive, things to let go of. They have taught me so much about the fragility of the physical, and the strength of the spirit.

-My friend, Tim, who passed away this year. From talking with his family recently, I have learned that he had been sick for at least a year. He never told me. For whatever reason, he never said "I am dying of cancer". That's ok, I respect that. What Tim taught me over the years about friendship is invaluable. Our paths diverged in life and while we both continued on in our careers, I also had two children, and much of my energy went to them. Sometimes, when he would come home to visit his family for holidays, we couldn't get together. But he ALWAYS tried - he always called and we at least talked. Sometimes I would think to myself, "Why does he keep in touch?", when I was super busy and couldn't get together. But, he had no children, he understood my energy was all over the place and that was ok. he ALWAYS kept trying. He ALWAYS valued our friendship. The last time we met, we shared dinner and it was wonderful. We had time, we could relax and "catch up" with each other. The most valuable thing I learned from Tim is that friendships MATTER. People will not always be around, nurture what you have. Thanks, Tim.

-all of my patients, who are symbols of courage to me. I truly believe that in a therapeutic relationship, everyone is changed. I am changed each session because I learn more about the resiliency of the human spirit. I do hear the most god-awful stories in my work. And I do hear them over and over, only the characters change but the darkness of humanity doesn't. When I hear another story, I sometimes think to myself "There is nothing new under the sun. I have heard this before" But, other times I think, "Wow, I can't believe it - that something so horrible can happen". But, all of my patients have come for healing and that is the goal I focus on. And they do heal and move on. They work very actively on change. They make major changes in thoughts and behaviors. They spill their guts out all over the place, and are released and renewed. They leave therapy empowered. In my dark moments, I sometimes remember one of the stories that they have shared with me and the healing they have experienced and I am changed. I am so encouraged, so much more hopeful, so proud of them and the work they did on their journey and I learn from them.

What I have learned about magic and miracles in my daily life is this
-Gratitude changes EVERYTHING. It's extremely powerful. It's a game changer.
-I make active choices every second of every day in terms of what I choose to think. I have the power in every moment to change my thoughts.
-Love is really all that matters. Every day I try to ask myself, "Do I want the problem or do I want the answer?". The answer is always love.
-Now is all there is. The past is gone, we don't know if we have the next breath, the next moment. Now is all we have to work with anyway.
I choose to try to fill each NOW, each moment with gratitude and love. Therein is the miracle. To the degree to which I change my thoughts, my world changes exponentially.

Here's to 2011!!!!!!