Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The time is always right.....

"The time is always right to do what is right"....Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.

On this day we honor Dr. King. When he was born, a bright light came into the world. That bright light continues on despite his leaving, because he has inspired us all to do better, to love more, to see past differences, and to be more unified.

This is one of my favorite MLK quotes because it is so very simple and basic. There is no time like NOW and NOW is ALWAYS the right time to do what is right.

-Last week a patient was telling me about how, despite all her financial struggles, she and her son bought dinner for a homeless man they encountered in a restaurant. This man was counting out his last coins to be able to purchase a cup of soup and a sandwich - a very basic meal, something we all probably take for granted. As my patient and her son went to the register to pay their bill she asked the cashier to also pay the homeless man's bill, the light was shining....
-I have a friend who recently sat with her friend as she passed away. This was a process of months and the end came recently. My friend held her hand and her heart in her final hours. What greater privilege than to be able to support someone in such a way. As the months wore on and the minutes ticked down and the friendship continued, up until the very final breath, the light was shining.....
-How many individual and collective lights shine on in Tucson, after the recent shootings??? There are more stories of heroism and light than I can mention. I just heard on the news this morning that the organs of nine year old, Christina Taylor Green, were donated to a little girl in Boston. I know this is likely just a small comfort to her family but they said "It's what she would have wanted". The legacy the shooter left behind seems to be one of increased tolerance and unity and recognition that we can agree to disagree and it doesn't have to be an all out war. And the light is shining through ALL OF THIS.....
-There's a young man, a high school student, in my area who saw a need and responded. I read about this in the newspaper. He comes from an upper middle class neighborhood and had a part time job in a restaurant. He was upset one night when, as the restaurant was closing, he saw all of the good food that was being thrown in the dumpster. He talked to the restaurant owner about this and asked if he could take the food to a soup kitchen and the owner agreed. The young man then canvassed several other restaurants in his area and did the same. Today, a network operates to pick up the food each evening at the group of restaurants and take it to a homeless mission. One young man, with a good heart, who responded to his heart. and the light is shining....

The light that shone in Martin Luther King Jr is the same light that shines in all of us. We can all judge less, love better, reach out to others, look past differences....if we choose. The time is now, there is no other time. NOW is all there is.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Best of 2010

I started blogging in 2010. My intent was twofold: I wanted to become more mindful, more consciously aware of every moment and the power in every moment. Secondly, I wanted to notice and experience the magic and miracles in every day life. Blogging has been a conduit for doing so!
As I reflect back on my year, 2010, I recognize that changing my thoughts and hanging out in gratitude has been the actual conduit to experiencing my life differently. It has been quite proactive, much less reactive.
The power is definitely in the MOMENT, in the NOW. As I recognize the power in NOW, I am empowered.
I have been reflecting back on the year and this concept of empowerment and have a short list of people I know, have known, or interacted with this year, that seem to exemplify empowerment.
-My nursing home patients, who deal with illness, limitations, loss on a daily, hourly basis. Some have recently become residents, leaving behind family, pets, daily activities, comforts of home,to deal with living in an institution. No wonder they struggle with anxiety and depression. Others have been living in the nursing home for many years, so many years that some of them have lost track of the years. Some of them no longer have family or friends around to visit them. Some of them have limited memories of their past, their identities, how they lived their lives, who are "are", so to speak. It is interesting and amazing to me to see those that cope with the situation best - those with a strong sense of faith or spirituality, those who are able to have gratitude for NOW. The most valuable lesson I have learned from them is the power of NOW and the empowerment of GRATITUDE.
Some of them have passed on this year and my work with them is done. However, our work together is not, as I continue to learn from them. Even in their finals days, most of them had work to do - things to talk about, people to forgive, things to let go of. They have taught me so much about the fragility of the physical, and the strength of the spirit.

-My friend, Tim, who passed away this year. From talking with his family recently, I have learned that he had been sick for at least a year. He never told me. For whatever reason, he never said "I am dying of cancer". That's ok, I respect that. What Tim taught me over the years about friendship is invaluable. Our paths diverged in life and while we both continued on in our careers, I also had two children, and much of my energy went to them. Sometimes, when he would come home to visit his family for holidays, we couldn't get together. But he ALWAYS tried - he always called and we at least talked. Sometimes I would think to myself, "Why does he keep in touch?", when I was super busy and couldn't get together. But, he had no children, he understood my energy was all over the place and that was ok. he ALWAYS kept trying. He ALWAYS valued our friendship. The last time we met, we shared dinner and it was wonderful. We had time, we could relax and "catch up" with each other. The most valuable thing I learned from Tim is that friendships MATTER. People will not always be around, nurture what you have. Thanks, Tim.

-all of my patients, who are symbols of courage to me. I truly believe that in a therapeutic relationship, everyone is changed. I am changed each session because I learn more about the resiliency of the human spirit. I do hear the most god-awful stories in my work. And I do hear them over and over, only the characters change but the darkness of humanity doesn't. When I hear another story, I sometimes think to myself "There is nothing new under the sun. I have heard this before" But, other times I think, "Wow, I can't believe it - that something so horrible can happen". But, all of my patients have come for healing and that is the goal I focus on. And they do heal and move on. They work very actively on change. They make major changes in thoughts and behaviors. They spill their guts out all over the place, and are released and renewed. They leave therapy empowered. In my dark moments, I sometimes remember one of the stories that they have shared with me and the healing they have experienced and I am changed. I am so encouraged, so much more hopeful, so proud of them and the work they did on their journey and I learn from them.

What I have learned about magic and miracles in my daily life is this
-Gratitude changes EVERYTHING. It's extremely powerful. It's a game changer.
-I make active choices every second of every day in terms of what I choose to think. I have the power in every moment to change my thoughts.
-Love is really all that matters. Every day I try to ask myself, "Do I want the problem or do I want the answer?". The answer is always love.
-Now is all there is. The past is gone, we don't know if we have the next breath, the next moment. Now is all we have to work with anyway.
I choose to try to fill each NOW, each moment with gratitude and love. Therein is the miracle. To the degree to which I change my thoughts, my world changes exponentially.

Here's to 2011!!!!!!