More on Forgiveness

In a previous post, I talked about forgiveness, as a process. I shared with readers that my daughter was at a shooting scene. Given that forgiveness is truly a process, this process continues on.......

A couple weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about THAT NIGHT, the night of the shootings. She had not known what happened and was asking questions. It got me to thinking..... She told me later that she googled some things and found the pictures and that they were horrific.......I had not seen the pictures since they were published, so I googled some myself, and THERE THEY WERE. I started to cry, it was like a river.....I cried for the victims of the shootings. I cried for ALL the victims, living and deceased,and their families. I cried for my daughters. I cried for myself. I cried that we live in such a crazy world. I cried for ALL OF US. It felt so strange to be crying now, months later but then I realized I was crying the tears that I could not cry back then, because back then it was JUST TOO REAL.

Life has gone on, for everyone. I wonder about the women who died, their families, and how do they just go on? I think about the people I saw that night, and talked with, some who were inside when the shootings occurred, some were family members, like me. For my family, it has impacted us all, in different ways. My daughter is healing and has the wisdom to strive to bring good out of all of this. She will NEVER be the same but she is making sure that is in good and positive ways.I am so proud of her.

Last night THE DREAM reappeared. I am running around locking doors because I have to keep my family safe. Running, running, locking doors over and over because there are people with guns who are coming to harm us. This time, the dream was a little different and more hopeful. This time, there were other people running around with me, finding me hiding places, helping me to lock doors, acting as sentries. This time the dream progressed to the end, and the threats were gone, and we were all safe. Sigh. That's the way the real story ended for me and my family, but not for the three women who died.......

Forgiveness is an ongoing process.....